Brody and Baby-L – How this beautiful relationship got started
In August of 2018, Jessica reached out to me regarding her dog Brody and her son (aka Baby-L).
She kept me updated over the years and has given me permission to share her story of love, safety, and success.
“When we brought Baby-L home I felt like I was drowning in fear and anxiety because of our dog, and I honestly thought I would never come out of it. Obviously, I still manage and watch them carefully, but I do feel confident and I am much more emotionally relaxed while I help them build their relationship.”
Jessica’s note from September 2020
All Three Dogs Training’s clients fill out a behavioral questionnaire. Some of the items from Jessica’s questionnaire were:
“Brody’s overexcitement/anxiety makes him very jumpy, barky, and all worked up when something out of the ordinary happens (guests, car rides, etc.).
I do not believe that my dog would hurt my baby but…
Brody had a history with a toddler in the family.
“We cannot close Brody off in his own room without him crying and barking and digging at the door (he dug a hole in the upstairs carpet …)
I want to help him learn it’s okay to be away from us and have him learn to relax away from the action. We joke that he has FOMO (fear of missing out).”
Brody’s FOMO was going to get in the way of the positive association exercises he needed.
Jessica worked on teaching Brody skills to be comfortable around Baby-L while separated by a gate or play yard, or very focused oversight.
When a dog is on the other side of a baby gate or play yard he can watch baby’s development and learn to be okay with a crawling, toddling child. It also allows us to be able to give our dog commands and rewards for being quiet and calm around the baby.
Patience, Persistence and accepting that Perfect-is-not-all-it’s-cracked-up-to-be are fundamental to enjoyable and good positive reinforcement dog training.
…success in the face of struggle, unconditional acceptance of others, joy in all things, and that Patience, Persistence, and letting go of Perfect lies at the heart of all of these. Everyone who has potty-trained a puppy has used a type of ‘successive approximation’ like this.
Patience– – Cleaning up over and over until puppy begins to learn. Persistence – – Getting the puppy out often enough so puppy can be rewarded for ever more successful behaviors. Perfect is not all it’s cracked up to be – – Sometimes we all make mistakes.
Boo was patient…
…when he taught me to give him the time he needed to learn things. Patience allows you take your time and let your dog show you who they are. Boo’s physical and cognitive limitations made it difficult for him to answer these questions quickly or at all sometimes.
Together we persisted…
…in his training for his Pet Partner’s evaluation because his working as a therapy dog was the only way he was going to have kids in his life. Each dog will need their humans to persist in training differently. Boo needed extra time to learn new skills and confront fears. When he was afraid in the truck I had shift from convention wisdom to ways that would accommodate Boo so he could learn how to love the truck at his own pace.
For Boo to achieve his goal of visiting kids, it was almost two years of outings that slowly worked on his basic skills and treat-taking abilities in public. I had to craft alternative cues that Boo could follow and understand, much like I advise clients whose dogs are visually or hearing impaired. They can and will learn their basics and maybe even more than one might imagine, but it will have a different shape and form from traditional cues and signals.
We both let go of perfect…
…when it came time for his therapy dog testing. I knew that in spite of his bumbling through the skills portion of the test, he would excel in the aptitude portion. Too often we get caught up in comparisons of one dog to another, yet one of the greatest gifts you can give your dog is to only compare them to where they started and how far they’ve come. Each dog will reach their fullest potential once we simply focus on each successive approximation as its own victory.
Boo never did things quite like any other dog, but it worked for him.
When I would ask Boo for the paw command he’d swipe his paw in the air as if he were searching for a light switch in the dark. It in no way compared to the perfect easy-going dogs who leisurely reaches out and gently places their paw in your hand.
But when Boo does it, you could see his effort and sense of accomplishment in his simple, wobbly gesture and it always brought a smile in spite of the imperfection and probably more so because of it—like everyone cheering for the little engine who could—or in this case the little dog who could.
The lessons of Boo can apply to so many elements of human and canine interactions…
…from dogs with special needs like him, to dogs who are reactive, stressed, need remedial socialization, and pretty much any dog who will be destined to work as a service or therapy dog.
We are the guardians and advocates for our dogs.
It is our job is to patiently observe what our dogs tell us then persistently and at their speed craft a training routine that suites them so they can become the best they can be given who they are.
Like Boo, all dogs have potential. Our job is to find it and nurture it.